And the search continues

I took time off today to settle the extension of my tourist visa. As usual, it is all about paper work but I am glad that with the help of my mum, I have gathered all the necessary documents. The next step is to submit the application online.

Next Tuesday will be my last day at the language school and I will be taking a short break. At the early stages of pre-intermediate level, I have seen most of the essential grammars. The more complicated ones would be taught at intermediate level. *whew* I need time to digest what I have already learnt! Going to school is a luxurious option and with my current situation, I would need to find other creative methods to continue my learning during my break. Hopefully I get my immigration papers soon so that I can study at either very low cost or even for free!

Now that I am more familiar with this city in general, the next step is to be involved in the society. Since I am unable to work, volunteering seems to be the next best option.

My purpose of volunteering:

–          To have the chance to interact with more people

–          To find the opportunity to practise my communication in French

–          To put my time to constructive use

–          To gain experience which may help me in my future job search

–          To help me gain clarity in what I would like to do in future

I admire people who know what they are good at and what they want to do in the early years of their lives. Some take a longer time to identify their ‘calling’ while others never find it or they choose to be oblivious to it. On my end, I am still in the process of searching. Sometimes I feel embarrass about being lost but I know that this is part of life and its surprises. As long as I keep asking and searching, I believe I will find something one day. There are days where I wish I am able to work. However, on hind sight, I should take this opportunity to explore and figure out what I want to do.

My current inclination? To teach. I have never enjoyed school but I have always enjoyed the process of learning something new. If I ever decide to teach, it will be about building a person’s character and allowing them to discover their hidden talents and capabilities alongside with dealing with their examinations. I was never inclined to be a teacher in Singapore because I knew it was a system which I would not be able to survive in. Learning and growing goes hand in hand. It is important to have the space to explore and experience. Alas! The new generation in Singapore is mounted with excessive pressure to perform in school. How is that healthy for a child’s development?

The hesitation? Part of me is drawn to the corporate world (taking on a front line role). Being in that crazy world, I get to meet professionals who are good at what they do while getting pissed off with annoying good-for-nothings at the same time. Definitely a good training ground to learn how to manage all sort of personalities. Also, the non-predictability of situations pushes you to be on your toes all the time.  I love the challenges but I know it also drains my soul if I get too caught up in that world.

The solution? I need to find the balance of having some good challenge while maintaining my sanity and well-being. I am looking for a creative space where my contribution will be valued and appreciated. So the search continues…

If you have something similar to share, please feel free to drop a respond. Who knows, I may end up drawing inspiration your personal experience. =)

Signing off with love,

Esther

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